Gabrielle: Don't you think she knows what she's doing? You haven't seen her fight. Now I've seen her fight a lot. Ephiny: She's annoying. How do you put up with her? Gabrielle: Hey, she puts up with me fine. -- Xena WP: "Hooves And Harlots" % Gabrielle: Why do you always have to be so competitive about everything? Xena: Oh, and you're not? Gabrielle: I'm less competitive than you are! -- Xena WP: "A Day In The Life" % Xena: Are you alright? Gabrielle: I'm great. I can't see, but I'm good. Xena: Try using both eyes. Gabrielle: Oh..oh yeah, that's better. -- Xena WP: "Altared States" % Gabrielle: I almost got you that time. Xena: No, you didn't. Gabrielle: What are you talking about? I was *this* close. Xena: You were *this* close 'cuz I let you get this close. Gabrielle: We'll see. -- Xena WP: "A Day In The Life" % Gabrielle: He's a hero in the truest sense of the word. That doesn't bother you does it? Xena: Oh, it doesn't bother me. Gabrielle: You should hear me tell stories about you, then I really get going. -- Xena WP: "The Execution" % Minya (to Xena): The whip is mine, frying pan's yours..Hower is mine! -- Xena WP: "A Day In The Life" % Xena: I like to be creative in a fight, it gets my juices going. Gabrielle: Can we cook with your juices? -- Xena WP: "A Day In The Life" % Velasca: Oh, she's got to go. -- Xena WP: "A Necessary Evil" % Autolycus: Ah, another day... another defilement. -- Xena WP: "The Quest" % Autolycus: Choose the one drink you wouldn't give your worst enemy and give me a double. -- Xena WP: "The Quest" % Autolycus: Hello ladies, I'm quite mad. Top of the morning.. -- Xena WP: "The Quest" % Gabrielle: This is sabotage! Xena: Gabrielle, it's just a bad dress. -- Xena WP: "Here She Comes, Miss Amphipolis" % Gabrielle: I thought I'd call it "Queen for a day" Xena: Gabrielle! Gabrielle: "What a drag" Xena: Gabrielle! Gabrielle: Ok, ok... -- Xena WP: "Here She Comes, Miss Amphipolis" % Gabrielle: Does an Amazon Queen beat a Warrior Princess? Xena: Do you really want to find out? -- Xena WP: "A Necessary Evil" % Gabrielle: Xena, are you alright? Xena: Oh yeah, I'm fine. Callisto: Oh, me too. Thanks for asking. -- Xena WP: "A Necessary Evil" % Velasca: You must have a death wish. Callisto: You know it's funny, I think I do. -- Xena WP: "A Necessary Evil" % Xena: You're gonna cut your throat and jump? That's overdoing it a bit, don't you think? -- Xena WP: "The Path Not Taken" % Minya: Does she sleep in that? Gabrielle: Well... Xena: Hey! Hey lady..we're on a mission. -- Xena WP: "A Day In The Life" % Xena (to Draco): You can't want Gabrielle! Between you and me, she's a little... -- Xena WP: "A Comedy Of Eros" % Xena: What do you think? Gabrielle: I think we have a serious problem here. Xena: I could lose the daisies.. -- Xena WP: "The Furies" % Xena: Gabrielle, tell him. Do the Bard thing. -- Xena WP: "The Furies" % Gabrielle: I don't know if I like being that predictable. Xena: I knew you were gonna say that. -- Xena WP: "The Furies" % Gabrielle: That's cheating. Okay, cheating's an overstatement. -- Xena WP: "The Furies" % Xena (spinning Chakram on her finger): This thing is great! And to think I've only been using it all these years as a weapon. -- Xena WP: "The Furies" % Xena: All right, all right..here's one for you. What is the capital of Assyria? Gabrielle: Xena! Take the pinch off him now! Xena: Okay, but I still think there's more he could tell us. -- Xena WP: "The Furies" % Gabrielle: I'll rise... but I refuse to shine. -- Xena WP: "Been There, Done That" % Joxer: Two great minds..one thought. Gabrielle: Only half a wit. -- Xena WP: "Been There, Done That" % Xena: No, no, yes, no, yes, I tried that, yes-both ways, no, I don't know, no again. Are there any more questions? Good. -- Xena WP: "Been There, Done That" % Joxer: Group hug! -- Xena WP: "Been There, Done That" % Joxer: Oh! Oh! I know! I know! What if none of this is really happening, and like, we're all in somebody else's head, and they're making us up? -- Xena WP: "Been There, Done That" % Ares: I must have a certain..presence around you. Xena: You say presence, I say stench. Ares: Oh, oww! Score *one* (ding) for the Warrior Princess. -- Xena WP: "The Dirty Half Dozen" % Gabrielle: When I'm that age, I hope I'm knitting socks. Xena: Don't worry about it. People in our line of work never get to be that age. Gabrielle: That's a comforting thought. -- Xena WP: "The Execution" % Gabrielle: You know, I don't remember it that way. Joxer: Well, that's because you were tied up at the time. Gabrielle: So were you. -- Xena WP: "Warrior..Princess..Tramp" % Gabrielle: Whatever he did, I'm sure he didn't do it. -- Xena WP: "The Execution" % Gabrielle: Big-mouthed idiot. Maybe it's a code. Maybe it means something. Maybe I'm gonna kill her! -- Xena WP: "Warrior..Princess..Tramp" % Gabrielle: I have a theory about fish.. Xena: You mean the one where they're cold, wet and slimy? Yeah, I've heard that. Gabrielle: No, that's not it... -- Xena WP: "The Price" % Xena (to Gabrielle): ...And if I win, you have to make those little dumplings with the red stuff inside. Oh, please? -- Xena WP: "The Furies" % Gabrielle: I don't think I've ever been a part of a true disaster before. Xena: You are such a cynic. -- Xena WP: "The Dirty Half Dozen" % Gabrielle (to Xena): Timing, we've got to work on timing. -- Xena WP: "The Deliverer" % Hower: Let me ask you something Gabrielle. Does Xena ever think about settling down, and getting married? Gabrielle: No, she likes what I do.. -- Xena WP: "A Day In The Life" % Xena: Are you sitting on the soap? Gabrielle: I was wondering what that was.. -- Xena WP: "A Day In The Life" % Gabrielle: By the Gods! Xena: What is it? Gabrielle: You are *beautiful*! -- Xena WP: "Altared States" % Gabrielle: Hey, can I have some Cherries Jubilee? Tavern Owner: Yeah, yeah. Gabrielle: And some beef jerky.. Tavern Owner: Uh huh.. Gabrielle: Mmmm, pork liver! I mean, if you've got it... oh, and don't overcook it 'cause I like it really bloody. Tavern Owner: Yeah.. Gabrielle: You know, if you'd melt some cheese over the top, that'd be perfect. Tavern Owner: Sure. -- Xena WP: "Gabrielle's Hope" % Xena: It's just another reason to get out of Brittania and back to Greece. They were very strange. Gabrielle: Yeah, you're telling me..and I thought the Greek Immortals were freaks. Xena: Yeah, but they're *our* freaks. -- Xena WP: "Gabrielle's Hope" % Gabrielle: Why is that sword stuck in the stone? Goewin: Our last King before the Romans came... he struck that sword into the stone. No one's been able to move it since. Eochaid: Our tradition states that one day a great Warrior will be born to our people. He will become our King, and lead us in our fight against the Barbarians. Goewin: ...And we'll know who he is, because only he will be able to pull out the sword. Xena (pulling out the sword): Nice blade. -- Xena WP: "Gabrielle's Hope" % Joxer: Do you guys honestly think I'd be stupid enough to step in between two guys with swords? Xena and Gab together: Yes. -- Xena WP: "Been There, Done That") % Xena: Ares. Ares: You wanna move this so we can talk? Xena: Oh, I don't know, I kinda like the look of it there. -- Xena WP: "The Deliverer" % Caesar: So you're a friend of Xenas. Gabrielle: She hardly knows me. She probably doesn't even know I'm gone. I mean, she hardly knows when I'm around. Come to think of it, she doesn't even know my name. -- Xena WP: "The Deliverer" % Lao Ma: Would you kill a mosquito with an axe? -- Xena WP: "The Debt" % Gabrielle (attempting the pinch): I've just cut off the flow of blood to your limbs. Guard: (wiggles fingers) Gabrielle (attempts pinch again): Ahh! The numbness is setting in. Guard: No, I seem to be fine. Don't do that. -- Xena WP: "King Of Assassins" % Joxer: As a matter of fact, danger is my middle name... d-a-n-j...arrgh! Gabrielle: Three hours, Joxer. I waited for you for three hours with a bunch of drunken, horny half-wits. I've been grabbed more times than the Golden Fleece. -- Xena WP: "King Of Assassins" % Xena: Joxer. Joxer: Xena! You're here. Word must've gotten out on me. There's blood on my hands. Xena: You look like you've been pecked by a chicken. *Thump* Joxer: Ow! -- Xena WP: "King Of Assassins" % Xena: Joxer, you can barely kill time. -- Xena WP: "King Of Assassins" % Autolycus: I'm not as dumb as he looks. Joxer: Yeah, I'm not half as... -- Xena WP: "King Of Assassins" % Gabrielle: It's a chance to do something really good, and get a big reward. Autolycus: Oh, she had to say the "r" word. -- Xena WP: "King Of Assassins" % Autolycus: Why exactly is he here? Gabrielle: He knows Jett. Autolycus: No, in a grander sense, why is he here? -- Xena WP: "King Of Assassins" % Gabrielle: Where does it hurt? Joxer: Right here. Gabrielle: *Thunks him on the head* Joxer: Ow! -- Xena WP: "King Of Assassins" % Autolycus: Oh, there's a word for people like me...lucky. -- Xena WP: "King Of Assassins" % Autolycus: Security, it's on high alert, and there's guards all through the chambers, and no-one, I mean no-one gets in to see her. Guard (Knocks on door): Autolycus, Cleopatra will see you now. Autolycus: Except me. -- Xena WP: "King Of Assassins" % Xena: Why am I doing this? Ares: She killed your father, you have to avenge his death or the Furies will torture you for eternity..yadda yadda yadda..go! -- Xena WP: "The Furies" % Temple Guard: Virgins only.. Gabrielle: What is it written on my forehead? -- Xena WP: "Warrior..Priestess..Tramp" % Gabrielle: Believe me, if I have to go the rest of my life without companionship, "knowing myself" won't be a problem. -- Xena WP: "Warrior..Priestess..Tramp" % Meg: Come on seven..Priestess needs new sandals! -- Xena WP: "Warrior..Priestess..Tramp" % Joxer: Gabrielle awoke with a jerk. That's a funny phrase. I can't find anything, I must've come here on my own. -- Xena WP: "The Quill Is Mightier" % Gabrielle: Xena, when we get to Thessaly you still owe me a nice pair of boots. -- Xena WP: "One Against An Army" %