Quotes Page

The Goodies (3 Kb)

REVEREND: Enjoyment? There is no enjoyment at the Eisteddfod. "Eisteddfod" is an old Welsh word, from the old Welsh. It comes from two words: 'eistedd' meaning 'bored' and 'fod' meaning 'stiff'
-- The Goodies, "Wacky Wales"

Miscellaneous #1 (77 Kb)

A picture may be worth a thousand words, but usually consumes the bandwidth of more than two thousand.
-- Gym Quirk, news.groups

Miscellaneous #2 (43 Kb)

They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.
-- Benjamin Franklin

Miscellaneous #3 (46 Kb)

A successful tool is one that was used to do something undreamed of by its author.
-- S. C. Johnson

Miscellaneous #4 (13 Kb)

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
-- Osma Ahvenlampi

Star Trek: Enterprise (4Kb)

"Sometimes I think you North Americans read nothing but comic books and those ridiculous science-fiction novels."
"I'll have you know that Superman was laced with subtext."
-- Malcolm and Tucker compare continents, "Shuttlepod One"

BOFH #4 (1Kb)

Camels and llamas and hashes and scalars
Cute little modules talking to mailers
Regexes munging my humungous strings
These are a few of my favourite things.
-- Malcolm Ray, making Perl sing

BOFH #3 (27Kb)

Some days violence is just a nice quick solution to a problem that would need thought, planning and actual work to do justice to.
-- Wayne Pascoe

BOFH #2 (26Kb)

I just overheard someone referring to Solaris 2.6 as a "virgin operating system". With a straight face, no less. In one sense, I can see it. The one whereby it knows what it wants to do, it's just not entirely sure how...
-- Carl Jacobs

BOFH #1 (26Kb)

You can lead an idiot to knowledge but you cannot make him think. You can, however, rectally insert the information, printed on stone tablets, using a sharpened poker.
-- Nicolai

Buffy the Vampire Slayer (38Kb)

Anya: Look, I know you find me attractive. I've seen you looking at my breasts.
Xander: Nothing personal, but when a guy does that, it just means his eyes are open.

Programmers' Sayings (69Kb)

If you lie to the compiler, it will get its revenge.
-- Henry Spencer

Linux (90Kb)

And 1.1.81 is officially BugFree(tm), so if you receive any bug-reports on it, you know they are just evil lies."
(By Linus Torvalds, Linus.Torvalds@cs.helsinki.fi)

Star Trek: Voyager (33Kb)

Torres: (just before Janeway destroys the array) Who is she to be making these decisions for all of us?"
Chakotay: She's the captain.
-- "Caretaker"

Due South (32Kb)

[Welsh, about Dief:]
Unfortunately wolves are such notoriously bad witnesses. In my experience, they tend to fold under cross-examination.
-- Due South

Ally McBeal (31Kb)

"All I ever wanted was to be rich, and to be successful and have three kids and a husband waiting up a night to tickle my feet, and now I don't even like my hair."
-- Ally McBeal, on her life

EMS and trauma (38Kb)

The probability of having to resuscitate a casualty increases for each of the following which holds:

1. They've had a recent meal of anchovy pizza and garlic
2. This meal was washed down with copious amounts of beer
3. They have just vomited
4. You've left your BVM back at the squadhouse.

-- Rules for EMS practitioners to live by

Xena: Warrior Princess (10Kb)

Joxer: As a matter of fact, danger is my middle name... d-a-n-j...arrgh!
Gabrielle: Three hours, Joxer. I waited for you for three hours with a bunch of drunken, horny half-wits. I've been grabbed more times than the Golden Fleece.
-- Xena WP: "King Of Assassins"

Microsoft Quotes (6Kb)

Windows NT was designed to be administered by an idiot,
and usually is...