BO:  Be fair, I think the GPO have got a very difficult job to do.
TBT: Yes, that's why they do it so badly.
    -- The Goodies, "Radio Goodies"
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TBT: But those aren't art lovers - they're Americans!
    -- The Goodies, "National Gallery"
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BO:  Look at this! Julie Andrews has just recorded "Eskimo Nell"! 
      Yeah, yeah, look. There's a picture of her in a topless rubber bikini.
TBT: That's terrible!
BO:  Yeah, not up to much, is it.
    -- The Goodies, "Nice Person of the Year"
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BO: Look at this one. Tony Blackburn on Top of The Pops strangling a kitten.
GG: Wait a minute - do you notice anything? Look at Tony Blackburn's face.
    Look at that weird fixed grin and that strange blank look in his eyes.
BO: He always looks like that!
    -- The Goodies, "Nice Person of the Year"
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WITCH: I need to be put in touch with those lost souls on the other side.
TBT:   Say no more [PICKS UP PHONE] Thames television please.
    -- The Goodies, "The Witch"
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TBT: We must journey to the abode of the living dead.
BO:  Aw.. we're not going to Bognor again are we?
    -- The Goodies, "The Witch"
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MAJOR CHEESEBURGER: Well I'll be horn-swoggled!
GG: Your personal life is no concern of ours.
    -- The Goodies, "Clown Virus"
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REVEREND: Enjoyment? There is no enjoyment at the Eisteddfod. 'Eisteddfod'
is an old Welsh word, from the old Welsh.  It comes from two words:
'eistedd' meaning 'bored' and 'fod' meaning 'stiff'."
    -- The Goodies, "Wacky Wales"
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BO (READING FROM BOOK OF STARS): Rolf Harris.. Number of legs.. variable"
    -- The Goodies, "Rolf Harris Plague"
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TBT: We must prepare for the trip. Look out half a dozen jumbucks; pack
two, no three coolibahs in the tuckerbag. Graeme, you'd better go
whack the didilo, while I press a clean pair of billabongs. Now,
Australia.. here we come!
    -- The Goodies, "Rolf Harris Plague"
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TBT: [WATCHING GG ATTEMPT TO MIME] Tie.. Me.. Kangaroo.. Down,.. Tennis.
    -- The Goodies, "Rolf Harris Plague"
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TBT: What's the first thing that comes to mind when someone mentions
water, eh? A nubile young nymphette in a wet shirt, the damp, almost
transparent fabric clinging to her every contour - rivulets of water
trickling down her sensuous form.. At least, that's what springs to
my mind.
    -- The Goodies, "It Might as well be String"
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COMMENTATOR: Yes, the warmest of welcomes to you to The Big Match, on the
day when Manchester United keep up their amazing record of having
their entire supporters' club arrested for the fifth week in
succession. When Chelsea hit 6, punched 12, and strangled 4. And
Little Scunthorpe United managed to end their lean spell by killing
the referee.
    -- The Goodies, "Soccer Hooligans"
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