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Camels and llamas and hashes and scalars
Cute little modules talking to mailers 
Regexes munging my humungous strings
These are a few of my favourite things.
   -- Malcolm Ray, making Perl sing
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You can be jailed for lying about being good in bed.
   -- Lionel, paraphrasing the Criminal Code of Canada, 159(3)(b)(i)
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Information moves, or we move to it.  Moving to it has rarely been 
popular and is growing unfashionable; nowadays we demand that the 
information come to us.
   -- Neal Stephenson
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404 is hexadecimal for "fuck off".
   -- Alan Rosenthal
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I must go down to do C again, to the ANSI C and the vi
And all I ask is a shell script and a tar to store her by
   "C Fever", Paul Martin
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"Joe's Morgue: you kill 'em, we chill 'em, you stab 'em, we slab 'em;
 you bag 'em, we tag 'em; you slice 'em, we ice 'em;
 your stiff is our gift, we put the dead to bed. Joe speaking."
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The wonderful thing about killfiles
Is that killfiles are wonderful things
The lefts have emails of spammers
The rights have the score number strings
    -- Paul Martin
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I have a longstanding agreement with tequila: 
I won't drink it, and it won't make me sick.
    -- Brian Kantor
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> When Lusers are concerned, when is there EVER sufficient support ?
Easy: a few tons of concrete, poured right up to the nose off the 
luser should give any luser enough support.
    -- Alex
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And the Prime Directive would be a valid excuse to do absolutely nothing 
all day.  "I can't fix $LUSER's problem, because to do so would interfere 
with their development/evolution.  Sorry."
    -- James Turinsky
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I know it's a buzzword [...], but fsckin, 'Enterprise' editions of 
things *should* come with the phasers and photon torpedos and all.
Of course, the first vendor freebie you'd get would be a red shirt...
    -- Anthony de Boer in the Monastery
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Talk is cheap. Show me the code.
    -- Linus Torvalds
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Very few animals look the same after being turned on a lathe.
    -- AdB
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Software planning seems to be based on denying plausibility.
   -- Graham Reed, in the Monastery
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Just say no to unnecessary complexity that just doesn't buy you anything.
   -- Linus Torvalds
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You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, 
the best golfer is a black guy, France is accusing the US of arrogance, 
and Germany doesn't want to go to war.
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I got accused of being humorless last night.  I'm considering quoting
Lieutenant Commander Data: "Perhaps the joke was not funny."
   -- Alan Rosenthal
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They thought that faxing one's butt was bad - just wait till they hear 
about blurry, pixilated, mpeg artifacted live porn by phone!
   -- Geoff Lane contemplates the 3G future
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I call these twits pseudo-literate.  That is, they can read but won't.
   -- Joe Zeff
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It's Mickeysoft for pity's sake. *OF COURSE* it's going take all the ram 
in range. I'm surprised the fsking box doesn't grow tentacles and start 
stealing DIMMs from the machines next to it.
   -- JoeB
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Heaven has all the lusers, a generous supply of larts -
and no PHBs anywhere in sight.
   -- The BOFH Heaven, according to Suresh
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With so many "textbook cases" of single points of failure, you'd think 
that we'd stop building systems to demonstrate the concept.
   -- Matt Curtin
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There is, of course, no "we" - merely an anarchistic co-operative
movement of professional dysfunctionals led by a shadowy gang of stealth 
agitprop-agents who send their orders steganographically encoded into RFC 
documents or subliminally transmitted in the hum of 10^6 CPU cooling-fans.
   -- Tanuki
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It was pity that stayed his hand.  "It's a pity I'm out of
bullets", he said.
   -- RwP
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...if you squeeze a MS product into a small enough memory footprint 
there may not be sufficient space for it to fall over thus giving the 
impression it's reliable.
   -- Geoff Lane
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We live in a society exquisitely dependent on science and technology, 
in which hardly anyone knows anything about science and technology.
   -- Carl Sagan
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I suspect Vixie runs f.root-servers.net purely for the geek value of
having an Important Server whose name is pronounced "Fruit Servers Dot
Net".
   -- AdB
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So we've had the Matrix. When are we getting the Determinant?
   -- Paul Martin
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Canada's four seasons, of course, being Almost Winter, Winter,
Still Winter and Construction
   -- Rob Chanter, in the Monastery
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I was hoping for "I'll release the hounds now sir, would you like me to 
courier the testicles of the spammer involved to you tommorow morning?"
   -- Alex, in the Monastery
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Remember, when it comes to commercial TV, the program is not the product.
YOU are the product, and the advertiser is the customer.
   -- Mark Schumann
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Words fail me.  Thank goodness I can make gestures.
   -- Mark Hughes
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One of my rats is called Solaris, due to the fact it's fat and bloated.
The other is called Perl.  It's a nervous insane little animal.
   -- Ashley Penney
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This thing reproduces fast transients in a way which is so beautiful it 
brings tears to the eyes. I reckon that, on full volume, it could stun 
a bat at 100 yards.
   -- Tanuki
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Even so, I'm of the opinion that such statements should always be
followed by 50-point type, saying, "BUT YOUR BABY MAY BE DIFFERENT, AND 
THAT, TOO, IS NORMAL".  Never happen, though.
   -- Eric Schwartz
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Anybody who really thinks /bin/true should report a version number and a 
help string (or even a copyright notice) needs to get his head examined.
   -- Linus Torvalds
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I would fire his sorry ass so fast that the N-m of torque generated by 
his head-spinning would have to be expressed using scientific notation
   -- J. D. Baldwin
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