General overview: Great Britain is a small-sized island (in fact smaller than Oregon) located in Western Europe. Despite its vigorous denials, as well as tentative attempts to poison the rest of Europe (beware, do not eat any beef product when visiting the country, you might never return), it is effectively part of Europe - albeit geographically - and is now physically linked to the Continent (what's more, to France!!) by a 35 km tunnel. Great Britain is a very old country with many treasures, such as the Millennium Dome and the Diana Museum and the Millennium Dome. Among its contributions to Western civilisation are Mrs Thatcher, mad cow disease and beer.
Great Britain likes to think of itself as a multi-cultural nation, yet has not yet settled the many international disputes that often disrupt politics on the international scene: Northern Ireland (with Ireland), Gibraltar (with Spain), the Falkland Islands, South Georgia and the South Sandwich Islands (Argentina), the island of Diego Garcia (Mauritius), the Rockall continental shelf (Denmark, Iceland, Ireland), and the British Antarctic Territory (Antarctica). Trips to all of these places are organised by the Southampton Tourist Board and you can board a ship twice daily, with a complementary set of body armour and Kevlar helmet. The Britons speak an ill-formed version of American English with little use of Z's, where you walk on pavements and hire cars. So, when "queuing" at McDonalds's, stay in line and point out what you want to order when you get to the front of the queue. If the shop is understaffed, be patient; this is an indication that the Parliament needed additional recruits.
Geography: The British climate is said to be temperate. In reality, more than half of the days are overcast. And in practice it rains 364 days a year. The rest of the time it snows. Natural resources include coal, petroleum, natural gas, limestone, malt and beer. Meadows and pastures occupy 48 percent of the land - this is to cater for the large number of wandering cows who were denied ownership by the farmers who were previously in charge of them.
The People: Great Britain has a population of 58 million people, the majority of whom are male, therefore addicted to public houses, beer and televisions sets. The latter mentioned majority are extremely adverse to romanticism, probably in yet another attempt to distinguish themselves from the rest of the European population. The Britons seem to spend their time queuing, and their money dying their hair blond or purchasing expensive personalised number plates for their vehicles.
They stick to the rules, any rules. For some strange reason they even seem to enjoy this, as they create new rules every time they play a game of "cricket" - a national sporting entertainment, in their own definition - with which, if subjected to sitting through a cricket match when visiting the country, you are fully entitled to, and even bound to, disagree.
The British people are in general distant, arrogant, disciplined (another example - sex is only to be practised in the missionary position) and incapable of speaking any language other than their own. "If in doubt, shout louder" seems to be the extent of polyglotism. A minority (1.9 percent) of the population is Welsh, and an even smaller minority (0.005 percent) speak Welsh. The male section of the Welsh population are easy to recognise as they often follow sheep - or any other animals - very, very closely. Other languages commonly recognised in Great Britain are: Indian, Pakistani, Cantonese, Che-Chuan and Puli-Pilu.
History: Great Britain obtained independence on 1st January 1801, and no one ever wanted them to come back - e.g. Europe, the organisers of the World Cup, the Michelin Guide of best restaurants in the world. In the latter two instances, they are still trying. Their constitution is unwritten, and is mostly based on common law and practice. In other words, they do something wrong and it then becomes the norm. As the Britons are exceedingly disciplined (see paragraph on The People), this is likely to lead quickly to disaster. Their complicated - though quite distinctive and attractive - flag is the result of a messy arrangement trying to put together the crosses of St. George (patron saint of England), St. Patrick (patron saint of Ireland), St. David (patron saint of Wales) and St. Andrew (patron saint of Scotland).
Culture: Rock. That's about it. Unless, that is, you appreciate the Spice Girls or line dancing. The rest is stolen from other countries - e.g. the entire content of the National Gallery - or from ancient times - the numerous markets and antique shops.
Cuisine: Great Britain prides itself to be multi-cultural, and many examples of its multi-facetted cultural background transpire in its cuisine: Indian restaurants, Pakistani restaurants, Chinese restaurants, Greek restaurants, McDonalds's restaurants, and the famous "chippies" (small shops selling fried fish and soggy chips, easy to locate by their smell). As for English cuisine itself, it is practically non-existent - although fluorescent green peas, wobbly bright pink jelly, rock hard Christmas pudding and mint flavoured meet (beware, again, not to choose beef) are a few of the delicacies you must sample when visiting the country.
Economy: Great Britain's biggest export- and import-partner is Europe. The country exports machinery, fuel, chemicals, and no beer. It imports machinery, semi-finished goods, and no beer. The machinery they manufacture is obviously not good enough for them, they send it out and buy better ones from countries who have the expertise to manufacture them. As for beer, a good thing is to be got hold of - and not to share. The Brit's have learnt their lesson well. Having said that, in line with their European xenophobia, they still manage to export more to Europe than they import.
Public holidays: None. Well, one day after Christmas and one day after the New Year, but no one would realise anyway.
Conclusion: Great Britain is convinced it is "Great", and makes sure everyone knows. Isolation is a good word to describe the country and each of its in habitants. But once you pass through their natural barriers, you may get the chance to get to know genuine and passionate people.