"Let me check," I started. "We've got four weeks to review thoroughly this code delivery, reformat it all to the project standards and unit test it. Right so far?"
"Right," confirms Bill the project manager, no doubt wondering what this is about and whether it's time for lunch yet.
"Assuming that we don't get any late deliveries of 'bug-fixed' code from DCI," notes the gloomy Diane who's worked on projects like this before but not yet developed the reflexes to avoid them when they come around again.
"In that case I hope that people like overtime." I passed around copies of the DCI coding standards. "The guy who wrote this document was so anal-retentive that I bet he has sofa cushions in his lower bowel. The standards we're required to format to are mind-meltingly nit-picky, and the DCI coders haven't even tried to follow them." People scan through the document and there are muffled cries of "What the hell?" and "What kind of idiot..."
Diane raises her head from a document already sporting streaks of red pen. "We're doomed, aren't we? Who was the moron who agreed this contract?"
All eyes turn to Bill, who is already reversing out of the room. "Excellent, so everyone knows what to do?" No chance given to reply. "Good good, come and see me if there's anything unclear about the standards. Thanks for the document, Euan. See you guys later."
"I remember", mused Paul, "when I wondered whether I'd ever be smart enough to be a manager. Euan, could you put together a plan for doing this?"